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15 people you'll always meet at an Irish wedding
WEDDINGS MAY NOT be the happiest of affairs in the Game of Thrones universe but in Ireland they’re a rather different affair.
We can never say no to an excuse for a good day out so it’s rare that we’ll turn an invitation to one down.
You’ll get all sorts at a decent afters and here are just a selection of the people you’re bound to meet:
1. Party Mad Bridesmaids
Their feet may be killing them and they might hate the dresses they’ve been stuffed into but that doesn’t mean the bridesmaids aren’t going to make the most of it.
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They’ll be the very first ones dancing in the evening and won’t hesitate to kick the shoes off and hitch the dresses up for a full on Riverdance tribute.
2. Gas Groomsmen
Often overshadowed by their female counterparts, the groomsmen are the ones who’ll make the night rather memorable.
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Sure aren’t they the ones with the mortifying inappropriate jokes about the main man? And the ties around their heads on the dance floor?
3. The Engaged Couple
This pair have their own wedding to plan and they’re not going to waste an opportunity to give things a test run. Or figure out what they definitely DON’T want.
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They may end up having a massive fight before the night is out, leaving one to tear up the dance floor while the other sulks miserably in the corner.
4. The Lads
They came for the party and party they will. After hovering around the dance floor making dodgy jokes they’ll eventually spring into action, joining the groomsmen in the ties around heads club.
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With their shirts open and the shoes eventually off, these boys will lay the foundations for on almighty seisiúin. Bridesmaids beware, they’re most likely on the prowl.
5. The Flirt
This individual has one objective and it certainly isn’t to spend the night toasting the happy couple. He’s got the glad eye and God help you if you think it’s just for you.
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Not a woman in the room will be allowed home without a few flirtatious words being whispered into her ear by this total chancer.
6. The Hopeless Romantic
Identifiable by their doe eyed gawking at the bride and continued chatter about how beautiful the whole day is, this wedding guest totally buys into the idea of finding your one true love.
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They’ll fight VICIOUSLY for that bouquet to prove it too. And you won’t know where to look when someone else catches it.
7. The Bitter One
They may be single or just really unhappily married, but there’s absolutely no room for love in their lives.
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They’ll give the marriage a year but still happily lap up the free food and booze.
8. The Creepy Uncle
He means well but has a VERY odd way of showing it. You’ll spot this lad propping up the bar for a while before insisting upon asking a few young ladies up to dance.
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He’ll attempt to spin them around on the dance floor with minimal grace and charm, oblivious to the fact that those around him find the whole thing extremely awkward.
9. The Sports Fiends
Weddings sometimes suffer the misfortune of being scheduled on very important dates and there’ll always be eager sporting fans who want to keep up to date with the goings on.
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Watch closely and you’ll spy the group of them slipping off to the hotel bar just in time to catch that all-important occasion, be it a GAA match, the golf, or the big horse race of the day.
10. The Plus One
If they’re not friends of the happy couple the Plus One will spend most of the evening trying to make small talk with people they’ve never met before, while feeling totally out of place in the middle of a stranger’s big day.
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Unless they’re a social butterfly of course. In that case they could well become the life and soul of the party.
11. The Dancing King/Queen
Often the most unassuming individual in the room, once they hit that floor there’s absolutely NO stopping them.
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Expect a circle of clapping and whopping individuals to form around them as they give Michael Flatley and his feet of flames one hell of a run for their money.
12. The Quiet Man
There’s always one older guest who stays quiet for most of the evening and really only comes to life in the residents’ bar.
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He’ll tell you many a fine tale and belt out a few old Irish tunes before retiring to bed just before dawn.
13. The Kids
You’d be hard pushed to miss this rowdy bunch who love any old excuse to inexplicably run around in circles.
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The occupants of the kiddies’ table will keep everyone entertained throughout the evening, as drunk older relatives shower them with minerals and sweets simply for being there.
14. The Priest
Couples don’t always take the traditional route to holy matrimony these days but when they do there will ALWAYS be a seat for the priest at the reception.
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Even the least religious of guests will agree that the man of the cloth can be great craic when he’s not on duty.
15. The older relative who asks when YOU will finally give them a ‘day out’
Don’t hold your breath, nana.
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More: The 14 signs that you’re at an Irish wedding>
More: 13 of the worst things about being a wedding guest>
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